Bih-ness is Bih-ness

There's a good chance I've already shared this exact story and just don't remember.  I blame motherhood for my horrific memory (even though my memory was fairly shotty prior to pregnancy. meh.)

While I was on maternity leave last summer, I received a phone call from Mr. Fluff saying he heard my department was closing down.  I immediately got on the phone to my manager and left her a message to call me stat.  I found out later that at that exact moment, my team was in a room being told that they would not have a job in a month.

When my manager called me, I was about 28 shades in to 50 Shades of Grey and honestly couldn't care less if I had a job in the month.  I was more concerned about what shenanigans were about to go down in the Red Room of Pain.  Oh Christian......

Anyways, I finished out my maternity leave and went back to work for eight days.  I was pretty much as worthless as it got.  Some may say I was "checked out" but truthfully, after being out for 12 weeks, I never really checked back IN.  I was the model employee and did everything I was supposed to.... bwahahaha.  I can't even finish that sentence.  I will be the first to admit that I didn't do jack shyt those last days.  The most productive things I did were surf the internet and start this blog.  My entire team hated me because I wasn't pulling my weight.  I knew they were all frustrated with me but I also knew that Zulilly had some really cute stuff that day that I NEEDED to buy.

It was decided that I would stay home with Fluffette and do my best not to eff her up so much that no amount of therapy could ever fix her.  Mr. Fluff has worked his azz off so that I could stay at home and watch all of our daughter's firsts.  He also wanted me to figure out what I want to be if when I grow up.  After a lot of self searching, I realized that I love finding old crappy items and giving them new life.

And so.....Dumpster Darlins was born.

I've worked pretty hard with my dad the last eight months trying to find items, fix them up, start an LLC and all the other paperwork that goes along with it.  All while doing my best to still be an above average mom to Fluffette. Hair Flip.  

All of our hard work came to fruition a few weeks ago at our very first show.  I know I seem cool, calm and collected (just play along) but I am one big ball of anxiety a lot of the times.  I was scared shytless to have my first show.  Are people gonna like my designs?  Are my prices too high?  Are my prices too low?  Is my outfit cute enough for sale day?  Why is everyone asking me if I'm pregnant?  Can't a girl just rub her protruding belly?  When do I get to eat again?  And so on and so on.

The first day came and went and I only sold 2 items.  I was pretty sad about that but decided that tomorrow was a new day and I was gonna KILL IT!  Well, Saturday came and went and I'd only sold a few more items.  I was feeling discouraged.  I received a ton of compliments but people just were buying like I thought they should be.  I wondered if this was the right choice for me and if I was even cut out for this. I doubted myself.  I doubted my self worth.

This is EGGGGGSACTLY why I always quit shyt that I start.  I.do.not.want.to.be.a.failure.

At the end of the show as my workers family started loading up the truck, I took the time to talk to other vendors and "feel them out".  After many discussions, I realized that I didn't do half bad!  Many of the other vendors barely broke even and some didn't even recover the fee they paid to be at the market.  I not only made back my fee but I also made a small but likeable profit which was great considering I saw something on Very Jane that I wanted to buy. 

In the past few weeks, I've realized that when something doesn't go my way I don't have to immediately start doubting myself.  Success isn't found overnight.  Not in business.  Not in weightloss.  Not in LIFE.  And just like every other time I've felt like I've fallen, I WILL stand back up, dust myself off and get back on that Junkin Truck.  

A new Fluffy has been born over the last year and that crazy and moderately skinny bytch refuses to sink.

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And now to touch on a few random things:

1. My grandmother was here for an entire week. She taught me how to make homemade bread, cinnamon rolls, pie crusts, cobbler and pretty much everything else I shouldn't put in my mouth.  The best part about the week is that my itty bitty Grandma had to stand on a stool to reach the counter....and she was STILL shorter than I am!  I'm 5'6" which means she is approximately 4 feet tall.

2.  Fluffette is gonna be the death of me.  She now climbs up in chairs.  Climbs on one toy to get to another toy to get to the top of the table to give me a heart attack. Refuses to stay still while I try to change her diaper on the floor since I still can't lift her. And also terrorizes our poor dogs.

3.  I'm weighing in at 161 pounds these days.  I'm 11 pounds from my goal.  You can bet your sweet azz that once I get released from the doc to workout, Ima get crazy about working out again.  I WILL REACH MY GOAL IN 2013, George Dammit!

4.  Almost every blog that I read this week talked about Miley and her horrific performance at the VMA's that left several people with an unplanned pregnancy.  I mean....it was awful but I shamefully still love her cheesy music and will try not to picture a foam finger while listening to 'We Can't Stop'.

 I'm a fairly positive girl and I like to find the good in all things and I've done just that with this picture of Miley that is all over the interwebs.

Twerkin ain't werkin.  I take solace in the fact that we ALL have some work to do and we can ALL be a better version of ourselves!  And....you know.....we won't stop....

"This is our house
This is our rules
And we can’t stop
And we won’t stop
Can’t you see it’s we who own the night
Can’t you see it we who bout’ that life
And we can’t stop
And we won’t stop
We run things
Things don’t run we
We don't take nothing from nobody"