Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Watch for dropping balls…

A few months ago, I wrote about my left ball dropping in The Results Are In.  Well, today my other ball will drop.  I’m officially a man….in a Fluffy sort of way.  Nobody Millions of people asked me to post progress pictures in my sports bra and that day has finally come.  I’m not one to “get right to it” so I’ll build your anticipation until you just can’t take it anymore by showing other pictures first. 

Up first, I bought a dress from H&M for an upcoming bachelorette party.  The vision in my head of this outfit was MUCH cuter.  I’ve always loved the lace dress with cowboy boots look so I decided to give it the ol’ college try.

I will say that I’m happy from the thigh up.  This dress is a size 10!!!  However, those legs….those poor poor sausage legs.  They make me want to….well… sausage.  I’m on the fence about this dress but I have six weeks to learn to love my body before the par-tay. 

Next up, the first picture was taken about 6 weeks post “pushin a human out of my lady hole”.  Large Marge is the first thing that comes to mind.  The second picture is from today.  Fluffette appears to have put on a few L.B.’s but they look cute on her!  Life isn’t fair.  I tried to put her in the same outfit but then there was a noticeable pop and she started crying.  She can be a real baby sometimes!  (no…I didn’t really try to fit my 20 pound baby in a newborn outfit)

Now, it’s time for measurements and my goal outfit.  (you can see all the measurements thus far HERE)
First measurements:
Date:  September 5, 2012
Weight: 208.2
Chest:  41 inches
Arms:  14
Waist:  39.25
Thigh:   28.5
Calf:  17.75

Midway Measurements:
Date:  January 30, 2013
Weight: 179.4
Chest: 37
Arm: 12.75
Waist: 32.25
Hips: 42.5
Thigh: 25.5
Calf: 16

Today’s Measurements:
Date: February 27, 2013
Weight: 178.4.  I forgot to weigh this morning so this is right after I worked out.  My weight on Sunday was 174.6.
Chest: 36.5
Arm: 12.25
Waist: 31.5
Hips: 42
Thigh: 25.25
Calf: 16.5 (this is up from last month so this better be muscle dammit!!)

Goal Outfit:
Pants are a size 8 and shirt is a medium.
September 2012…..

February 2013…

Disregard my old lady hand, I wanted you to see that I could button them.  Right above that button…shyt ain’t pretty ya’ll.  To save you from the nastiness, it looks a lot like this…

This is prolly a good place to put my sports bra pics….but I’m not gonna.  Instead, I’d like to wish Fluffette a Happy 9th Birthday for the millisecond between midnight on 2/28 and midnight:01 on 3/1.  I’ll be starting a petition to add a 29th day to February in honor of Fluffettes birth date. 

***selfless plug, that yellow number is a piece of furniture that I made over.  I think it’s pretty damn cute and there’s a good chance it will remain in Fluffette’s room.

Ok, fine.  I’ll show you THE pictures..

But first, I’d like to talk about my least favorite body part.  My arms. (I effed up my computer and can't crop this picture so you're getting my dirty bathroom're welcome)

No matter how fat, fluffy or skinny I am, these mutha fuggas are big.  There’s a good 2 inches of skin hanging from the bottom which makes it much harder for me to flex my muscles for random strangers on the street.  They won’t be able to see the uber ripped (sarcasm font) tops of my arms because, on a windy day, they will get slapped in the face with my bat wings.  These babies gotz tuh go.  If you are a plastic surgeon and would like to remove this flailing arm skin…for free…please email me at

Ok, I warned you so this is your last chance to leave this post and pretend like this never happened. 

These first pictures are from December 2012…

And last night….

**takes deep breath**

Okay, there you have it.  It’s not a huge change, but I’m getting there.  I know my body isn’t perfect but, neither is your face you judgy bytch it will get there…someday…maybe…hopefully….please Lord! 

I feel like this post is one giant run-on sentence but mama needs a xanax after posting these pictures.  If you leave me a hateful or negative comment, I will cut you.  End.of.story.

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Monday, February 25, 2013

Runnin and Redesignin

I’ve taken a couple of major breaks from running through the years.  The first break was for approximately 32 years and the second one was for three months.  If you’re not picking up what I’m putting down, I just told you that in my 32 years of living, I’ve been a runner for a few short months.  Now, don’t get me wrong, we had to run a mile here and there in high school athletics, but I was always keeping up the rear with Sh’Queefa (name changed to protect the innocent).  We would both be dry heaving and sweating our nuts off after rounding the first corner of the track.  Once we made our first lap around the track, we’d been lapped by all the super fancy cross country runners (aka showoffs).  The rest of the class had to wait for us to finish our mile before they could go in.  Coach would shout from the sidelines “Fluffy, that might be easier to do if you would put down that chimichanga!”

I want to be a runner again. 

I sat out my clothes last night and fully intended to get up at 6am today to start Couch to 5k again.  Mr. Fluff and I joked about how this would NEVER happen.  I am not a morning person….at all. 

As we all suspected, the past repeated itself…and I stayed in bed until Fluffette woke up at 8:15am.  SON OF A BYTCH!  There are so many things for me to blame it on but the truth is that I AM IN CONTROL OF MY OWN WEIGHTLOSS.  I have to own up to my suckiness and get my lazy ass out of bed.  I WILL get out of bed and workout and shower before Fluffette wakes up……someday.  *dramatic deep sigh*

Wednesday’s post will include my new weight, measurements and pics in the goal outfit.  I’m hoping that I’ll also be able to say “I’ve woken up and worked out before 8am twice this week!!”  Stay tuned!


In random news, my new blog design is up!!  Hubby Jack from Hubby Jack’s Blog Attack , designed it for me and I absolutely love it!  I found Hubby Jack through his wife, Holly at Where we can live likeJack and Sally. I found Holly through Mama Laughlin .  And I found Mama Laughlin through a friend and Pinterest. 

Hubby Jack is by far my most favorite male blogger mainly because he’s the only male blogger I know.  He’s super funny and refers to himself as HJ which makes me giggle every time.  If you don’t know what HJ means, please check out the Urban Dictionary.  Actually, scratch that.  If you don’t know what an HJ is you are clearly super innocent and would certainly be scarred for life by what you would see there.  (if you’re an immature pervert, you could spend hours and hours on there.  It’s high-larious)  Furthermore, you are prolly way too innocent to be reading this blog…but I’m glad you’re here!

Please take a moment to check out the new blog design!  Fluffy in Frisco.  On the right hand side, you can now follow me on Pinterest, check up on my progress pics and easily access the recipes I’ve shared.  You can now also refer to The Dic if you ever have a question about what a word means that I use!  I hope to have all of these sections updated by the end of this week. 

Another feature that I’m super excited about is the ability to Pin a post.  This feature is sure to skyrocket my blog into superstar status.  Only then can they begin filming the “based on a true story” lifetime movie about all things Fluffy.  If you decide to ever Pin one of my posts, all I ask is that you write the following as the description:

“Fluffy has changed my life.  Not only is she full of wit and charm, but she’s also super pretty and super skinny.  And did I say super skinny in a fluffy sort of way?


In further random news, I’m half way to 100 followers!!  I’ve lined up two…count ‘em TWO giveaways for when I reach 100 site followers!!!  If you haven’t yet, get your act together and join my site….just kidding…..but not really. 

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Thursday, February 14, 2013

A Case of the Mondays and Damn It Feels Good to be a Gangster

***I wrote part of this blog on Tuesday and forgot to post it…so I’m adding on to it today! You are so lucky to get this extra long post!  I don’t want to scare you, but this may be the longest one you've ever seen (said every man ever)

Yesterday began like any other Monday.  Fluffette and I have started a new morning ritual that involves us both having our first drink of the day in bed.  While I sip on my coffee and she sucks down gracefully drinks her bottle, we watch the morning news. Now, I’m sure some of you want to lecture me on why I shouldn't give her a bottle in bed with me in the morning… your breath.  This is one bad habit that I am fully OK with and I hope we do this until she goes off to college, or trade school or wherever the world takes her. 

About halfway through my coffee I realized that I was rubbing the remains of my Food Baby Belly.  I won’t say that I “fell off the wagon” but my left leg was dangling (it’s the heavier leg and could easily pull the rest of me overboard).  I looked back on my past few days and realized that I was getting WAY too comfortable with cheating here and there.  Each chip from El Fenix, chicken tender from Cane’s and peanut butter cookie counts.  It all adds up……TO A FAT AZZ!!!

I've done the whole “fat” thing before and I refuse to go back.  I decided right then and there that it was time to get my shyt together.  I began logging my food again.  Not on My Fitness Pal because I know I won’t follow through with that.  I did it the ol’ fashioned way, pen to paper.  I keep a notepad on my kitchen counter with my daily allotment and what I've eaten so far.  It definitely makes me think twice about putting something in my mouth when I know I have to record it.  (twss).

Obviously the whole “workout everyday” thing just ain’t workin yo.  So, my new (more manageable) plan is to workout 5 days a week.  I have found that the devil owns the weekends and I just can’t seem to make myself workout.  I’m on Day 2 of Week 2 of Ripped in 30 so I’m well on my way to achieve my new goals.
I decided Monday that I would weigh myself in hopes that I’d gained weight so that it would better motivate me.  Well color me happy because I weighed 177.4.  That’s over a pound lost..even with my cheatin’ ways!  I’ll take it!!  I was so excited that I was so close to my pre-pregnancy weight that I did a happy dance in the mirror.  And there it was……a pimple the size of China.  I’m not overexaggerating on this one.  It has its own pulse and its own zip code. All friggin day Monday and Tuesday, I kept managing to hit my girthy pimple and that shyt hurt.  Tuesday, I decided that pain isn’t worth it so I covered it with a bandaid.  I pointed to it in the picture since its flesh tone so you TOTALLY can’t see it.

It’s so large that I figure it weighs AT LEAST 2.4 pounds on its own so we all know what that means……I’M AT MY PRE-PREGNANCY WEIGHT!!!! 


Last weekend I went junkin’ again and found some great stuff to make Mr. Fluff go pick up.  On our way back from our journey on Sunday, I got on Pinterest (as per the yougg ‘fancy usual’)  I found THE COOLEST VIDEO and I will share it with you today.

When it was over, Mr. Fluff said “um, did you really just watch a video on how to fold a fitted sheet!?!?!?”

I’ll just let my before and after pics speak for themselves…

Damn it Feels Good to be a Gangster

I pretty much hate V-Day and hate celebrating it.  This year we decided that we would take a CHL (concealed handgun class) together.  As you all know, I’ve been packing some heat for a while now….

But it was time to take it to a whole new level.  The night before the class, Mr. Fluff showed me how to load and unload the gun…..and I jammed it.  This wasn't starting off very well.  I pretty much knew this meant I would not only fail the class but that we would possibly be taking a trip to the ER when I shot off my own foot. 

There were about 13 people in our class, and two other women.  Phew!  The instructor started going over a gun, how to hold it, how to shoot it, gun safety, etc.  He kept talking about “muffs and plugs”.  Clearly he means “earmuffs and earplugs” for safety…but The Fluffs are not mature enough for this.  He just kept saying “you always need a good pair of muffs or plugs” or “ you can get good muffs or plugs anywhere”  We both had to put our coffee cups in front of our mouths because we were moments away from LOSING.IT!  For a second, I thought we were gonna get kicked out of class within the first hour.

He then informed us that we’d get the shooting portion out of the way first thing.  And the nerves set in.  I mean, I think I've shot MAYBE one gun in my life.  As we drove to the shooting range, I was nervous.  Like “ihopeidontgetexplosivediarrheaonthisshootingrange” nervous. 

The instructor paired us up and off we went.  I, of course, got paired with Old Man River.  (not Mr. Fluff).  I can only assume that he was 123 years old.  He said “hi, what are you shooting today”.  To which I replied, “oh….um….a gun…”.  He didn't say much more to me. 

The first couple of times I shot the gun, I’m pretty sure I peed a little.  I just kept saying “please don’t hurt anyone, please don’t hurt anyone”.  Fifty rounds later at three different distances, and not only do I still have my foot……I didn't do half bad!! 

A little later, Mr. Fluff asked how I felt and how it felt holding a gun. Well, I pretty much just NAILED it so I went all Hustle and Flow on his azz.  I said, “Look mayn….I mean…it thay’s a perp all up in my biz-ness..I just be like (makes fake gun with hand and turns it sideways for the kill shot)  ‘boom boom’ yo”.  Mr. Fluff, of course, shook his head, giggled and said “stoooopid”. 

At the end of the longest day in the history of America, I’d done it!!!  I passed with a 98 out of 100!!!  In a few months I’ll receive my CHL and Fluffy’ll be packin’. 

To all the perps out there….I triple dog dare you to eff with my family.  *immediately kneels in to Charlie’s Angels pose*

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Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Recipe Roundup: Tex-Mex Turkey

Last night I made this recipe and absolutely loved it!  I got this recipe out of a Weight Watchers Magazine and couldn't find the recipe online so, since I love you, I will type out the whole damn recipe.  (read: you better effing make it)

Tex-Mex Turkey
Prep: 10 mins   Cook: 25 mins     Serves:4

Mix 1 tbsp Mexican-style chili powder, 1 tsp garlic powder, and 1/4 tsp black pepper in small bowl; rub over all sides of 1 (1 lb) turkey tenderloin.  Put 1 sliced red onion, 1 1/2 cups trimmed fresh green beans, and 1 cup fresh corn (i use frozen and it works fine) in stockpot colander insert.  Nestle turkey into vegetables: sprinkle 1/2 tsp salt over turkey and vegetables.  Set insert into stockpot over 3 inches simmering water.  Cover and steam until vegetables are tender and instant-read thermometer inserted into thickest part of turkey registers 166 degrees, 20-25 minutes.  Remove insert. Transfer turkey to large cutting board; cover and let stand 5 minutes.  Cut turkey into 12 slices; serve with vegetables and 1/2 cup fat-free salsa.

***I used a tall chili pot and a metal colander.  I also served this with a salad because, honestly, this is not at all enough veggies for 4 servings.  Today I had the leftover turkey over a salad and it was delicious!!


A Movin and a Shakin'

This weekend I went to one of my favorite places, Canton, TX!!!  If you’ve never been to Canton First Monday’s Trade Day, you are really missing out. It’s truly heaven on earth.  There is junk, both old and new, for as far as the eye can see.  This trip counted as my exercise for Saturday as you just walk and walk…and walk some more.  I would venture to say that I walked 2-3 miles and it was so worth it!

In true Fluffy fashion, all of my finds from this trip are to open my own business.  That’s right, yet another ‘idea’.  Stay tuned to see if I actually follow through with this one! If not, everything that I purchased will look UH-MAZING in our house.  Mr. Fluff is beyond excited. 

Fluffette has changed more in the past two weeks than she has in the last 8 months.  Not only did she start crawling, she is also pulling up on pretty much everything in the house and continues to pick up speed.  All this movement definitely makes it harder to get the house cleaned, workout, shower and get some crafty stuff done. I continue to find ways to work it all in but I.AM.TIRED!!!  I know it’s time to childproof and that stresses me out…mainly because “childproof” also means “fluffyproof”.  I installed some outlet covers yesterday then almost broke my finger trying to show Mr. Fluff how to get it out.  Deep sigh.  I really think it would just be easier to move. 

The good news is that as Fluffette gets older she also develops more of a personality!  She definitely has my sense of humor (hair flip) and I look forward to teaching her so many things that only a mother can teach their daughter. (i.e. all the things that annoy DaDa like poking him in the belly button) Awww yes (rubbing hands together while letting out an evil laugh) all the fun we will have.

February Challenge:
Thank you everyone that participated in the February Challenge.  I know we are gonna rock this month!  My month started off a little rough and I’ve already missed a day of working out.  I am on level 1 of Ripped in 30 and if you thought Jillian was a huge pain in the arse in 30 Day Shred, I can assure you that you will want to punch her in the throat.   It’s an awesome workout and I better be able to rock a sports bra and sporty-rolled down sweatpants by the end of this!  I am also getting creative with my workouts because I’m finding myself getting bored with just doing a video.  Monday, I realized right before dinner that I hadn’t worked out so I laid on the ground and did 25 sit-ups (harder than they look), 25 crunches and 25 leg raises on each leg.  I did this all in my knee boots and dress as we were about to head out to celebrate my nieces 15th birthday….at a chinese buffet.  Eff my life! 

I honestly didn’t do awful at the buffet and tried to stick with as healthy of choices as I could.  Beef n Broccoli, grilled chicken teriyaki, steamed rice, green bean stir fry stuff…..and one corn nugget.  I HAD to!  Corn nuggets are, by far, my favorite part of a Chinese buffet.  I’m a weirdo, but something about fried corn gives me a bit of a lady boner.  I…..LOVE….THEM!

I digress.

Today I needed to get some cleaning done so I used that as my workout.  When I was cleaning the toilets (gross) and the tubs, I would squat down to get the ol thunder thigh muscles working.  For my arm workouts, I decided to steam clean a couple of rooms.  That is a workout, fo sho!  That damn steam cleaning machine is H.E.A.V.Y!  All in a days work, my friends. 

It doesn’t matter what you do, just move.  You don’t have to sweat your face off to get a workout in.  Every little bit counts.  One day at a time. 

Teachin ya stuff:
I’ve had several people ask how they can follow my blog so I thought I’d show you today. 
1.        Subscribe by email.  This is found at the very bottom of my webpage.  Just input your email address and hit submit.  You will then have to enter one of those verification codes that I can never read.  That sends an email to you and you just click on a link to finish up the verification.

How do I follow blogs?

There are several ways to follow a blog. One of the easiest ways is to visit a blog that has added the Following widget and click on the "Join this site" button under the "Followers" widget:
After you sign in with your Google Account (or another account if you so choose), you'll then see a popup window with the options to either follow publicly or privately.
Select how you'd like to follow the blog, then click the "Follow this blog" button. If you elected to follow the blog publicly, your profile picture will be displayed on the blog with a link to your Blogger profile or Google+ profile (if you've opted to link your blog to your Google+ profile). When you become a follower of a blog, the blog will also be added to your Reading List on your Blogger dashboard. You can become a follower of any blog or URL (even if the blog doesn't have the Followers widget) by adding the blog to your Reading List on the dashboard.

Please choose the option that best fits your preference.  I personally prefer to follow sites by email so that I get notification when a new post is up but I also ‘join the site’ so that the blogger can see how many people follow them.

Once I get to 100 site followers, I will be hosting my first ever give-away!  I already have something in the works and can’t wait to share it with you!!!  Please join my site and share it with your friends!

Fluffy in Frisco is currently getting a makeover and a new site will be up in the next few weeks.  I am BEYOND excited to change the look of the site as it currently looks dreary and a little too ‘funeral program-ish’ for my liking. 

Good things are happening!!!!

Stay Awesome,
Fluffy in Frisco