Fluffette's First Christmas....and other randomness

I'm gonna briefly talk about a couple of "high points" of the last few days then end with a nice little picture show of Fluffette's first Christmas.

Gone Shreddin:  Friday was the official first day of our Christmas break.  Well, I stay at home so I'm always on break but it was the first day of Mr. Fluff's break.  I managed to talk him in to doing the 30 Day Shred with me and even bought him his very own set of weights.  As I started the video he was flailing about with weights in hand and was ready to WORK.  As we did our first set of jumping jacks in the warm up, under his breath he said, "my balls are jiggling".  I.LOST.IT and struggled getting it back together.  As I was trying to do a walking pushup, I started laughing.  Then again while we did more jumping jacks.  Then again while we did a double jump rope.  Needless to say, it wasn't my best workout as I'm not mature enough to NOT giggle like a school girl when my husband talks about jiggly balls.  We haven't done the workout since. 

BoBo: On Saturday, we found out that my BFF, Hippy in Hutto, is expecting a leetle boy.  I won't tell you his name to protect the innocent but I will say that Mr. Fluff and I decided that his nickname needs to be BoBo.  Where did we come up with that?  Well, Mr. Fluff makes me watch Finding Bigfoot aka The Dumbest Show Ever.  One of the peeps on that show is extremely tall and always wears a trucker hat that says "Gone Squatchin' ".  His name is BoBo.  And a nickname is born... I'm soooo excited to meet BoBo and an arranged marriage between BoBo and Fluffette is already in the works. 

Sharp Objects:  On Tuesday, the Fluffs set out to go shopping.  We went to Academy and I purchased some fancy ear bud thingys that go around the ear.  I have funky shaped ears apparently and ear buds immediately fall out.  Anywho, in the car on the way to our next stop, Mr. Fluff thought I should open my new earphones and try them out.  The package was apparently superglued so Mr. Fluff suggested I get the pocket knife out of the console.  I think we all know how this ended.  I'm a tad on the clumsy side so using a knife in a moving vehicle wasn't really in my best interest.  As you already guessed, I cut off a chunk of my thumb.  As luck would have it, there wasn't one damn napkin or tissue in that vehicle so I used my grocery list to wrap around it......seems sanitary.  The good news is that I survived, the bad news is that it's super duper hard to scroll through Pinterest on my phone with a gimp thumb.  Deep sigh. 

Now, on to the good stuff...Fluffette's First Christmas.  You know how pretty much every Christmas movie on Lifetime, Hallmark and the 25 Days of Christmas on ABC Family ends with a magical scene filled with Christmas music, laughter and happines?  Oh, you don't watch Christmas movies daily beginning the day after Thanksgiving?  Yeah, um.....me neither.  Well, if I DID watch all those movies including A Smoky Mountain Christmas with Dolly Parton, I would guess that's how they end.  And that's exactly how the last week has felt for me.....magical and Christmas movie worthy.

Rather than recap the last week with words, I decided to bore you with share some pictures of the most magical moments.  It was such an amazing Christmas and I am truly blessed. 

Opening her first gift.

Me teasing her with wrapping paper. (mother of the year)

Tired from all the gift opening and Dada stole her Pillow Pet.

"Step up off my Pillow Pet dernit"



Chillin in her new leather recliner....and rockin her fancy schmancy bib that Mia made for her. 



I have the cutest baby in the World.  Yes, she's cuter than your kid, I'm so sorry you had to find out like this. 

Never too young to start plankin'.  She has good form thanks to me.  Hair Flip.

"Are you gonna fix my headband or just take 50 pictures of the exact same damn pose?!?!?!?"

Christmas Eve in our footed jam jams. 

She was spitting up but I didn't want to miss these facial expressions. 

"Ima hit you with this later"

Concentrating on her new toys.

When Fluffette gets sleepy she likes to play with Dada's beard.  (heart melts)

Childcare at it's finest. 

Fluffette's new Pony.  (what do you mean she's spoiled??)

The Fluffs.  (in black and white to make us look like one of the families used in the picture frame when you buy it)

I live in the Dallas, TX area and we NEVER get snow.  My lady boner was in full effect that Fluffette's first Christmas was a white one!!!!!

Probably shouldn't put "lady boner" and "Christmas" in the same sentence but I'm super rebellious like that.

Stay Awesome,

Fluffy in Frisco

Tis the season to get fat and be jolly

Christmas is upon us and is by far my favorite time of year.  This will be Fluffette’s first Christmas so I have very high expectations and hope to make it a memorable one for her even though she’s only 6 months old and won’t remember a damn thing.  I can’t wait to force her to be as psychotic about this time of year as I am.  I look forward to years and years worth of wonderful Holiday traditions such as Mother/Daughter /Mia (grandma) Christmas Baking.  We had our very first one a couple of weeks ago.  Fluffette wasn’t much help at all but I certainly enjoyed watching her in the jumper staring at our Christmas tree and beating the crap out of the poor red bird that never saw her coming!

We cooked for most of the day and made eight different treats.  The plan was to put the goodies in cute little bags and decorative boxes and hand them out to friends and family.  Well….the plan failed.  I did manage to give away a small portion of them but most of them ended up in my belly….and I don’t regret it for one second!  I’ve worked hard the last few months and if I want to eat my weight in cinnamon pretzels then, by golly, I will!

Today was round two of our mother/daughter/Mia cooking extravaganza.  To keep myself  from eating it all, we immediately packaged everything and put it under the tree so I could forget about it.  I only saved two small goodie bags for Mr. Fluff so I wouldn’t be tempted. 

I am too tired from all the cooking today to share all eight recipes so I will share my top three faves.  I urge you to try each and every one of these recipes so you can sabotage your weight loss efforts JUST LIKE ME!    To further evidence my inability to say no to fatness, I got eliminated from a contest today.......in Week 2.  (patting self on back).  All I had to do was lose weight or maintain my weight from last week.  I weighed SEVERAL different times to make sure I could send in the lowest weight and I still managed to gain .8 pounds.  I blame Christmas. (rolling eyes)

**Please note that all pictures used are from the websites that I obtained the recipes from.  These are not my pictures or recipes so please don’t sue me.  Thanks. 

1.        White Chocolate Cinnamon Pretzels.  These are my absolute favorite, fo sho.  These are delicious without the white chocolate but who the hell wants to save themselves the calories? 

2.        Christmas Crunch.  The first time we made this I couldn’t find the Vanilla Candy Melts so I used almond bark instead.  WAY.TOO.SWEET!  Today we used the candy melts and it was amazing. 

3.       Mini Muffin Cookies.  I really liked these because there are SO many varieties you can use.  I did peanut butter cookies with Reese’s Peanut Butter cups and sugar cookies with Kisses.  This is also pretty much the easiest dessert a girl could ask for so even YOU won’t eff it up.  Nevermind, I take that back.  The first batch, I didn’t put enough cookie dough in the pan, then pushed the Reese’s down too far so when I picked up the cookie the Reese’s fell out the bottom.  Don’t worry, I still ate them.  Just be mindful of how hard you’re pushing (twss). 

To make myself feel like less of a fat azz, I will end this post on a healthy note. 

In true stalker fashion I not only went to Mama Laughlin’s hair hooker, bought Bic Bands because she said she liked them, started following her on Instagram, Facebook and her blog,  but I also made her recipe for Skinny Dorito Taco Bake.  It actually turned out pretty awesome and will go on the ol’ recipe rotation!  It's a "eat in one sitting" type of recipe because the chips get soggy the next day.  (i just scraped them off for lunch today because I have issues with wasting food)I’m not asking you to stalk her like I do (waiting for the restraining order), I’m just asking you to try this super easy and yummy recipe. 

Merry Christmas to all my three readers!!!

Fluffy in Frisco

Denim Debate: Part Two

I know you could care less, but the long awaited Part Two of my Denim Debate is here!!  I'm just gonna get right to it (twss). 

1.  The Bad.  Kut from the Kloth: Farrah.  Yet again, the 12 doesn't fit over my thighs but the 14 is too big in the waist.  No need to worry because the 14's are way too tight on my legs.  It may be hard to see in this picture but I have several wrinkles below my buttocks and it looks like I have a horrific panty line.....where my panties don't even hit.  The saleswomen came in and asked how I was doing to which I replied, "i'm funky shaped and these are an awful fit".  She said "oh...." and simply walked away.  No, "have you tried these $700 pair of jeans that even fit fat asses like you?". Nope, nothing.  I'm assuming her picture is up in the executive offices at Nordstroms as one of the Top Salespeople Lady Persons. 

2.  The Good.  Silver: Suki.  These jeans (also in the back of The Buckle) are by far my favorite.  They aren't as stretchy and comfy as Inc jeans but the fit is for the curvy girl and they have some awesome washes.  I don't know why my shirt is tucked in as I haven't tucked in my shirt since the 80s.  (shrugging shoulders).  I did SEVERAL denim dips to fit in to the equivalent of a size 12 in these.  They were a little tight in the waist but the salesman assured me that they stretch about 1/2 a size.  Unfortunately my sister, who I made take my pictures, was subjected to my bubbly arse bulging out the top of these jeans around my maternity thong during the denim dips.  Yes, they make maternity thongs and No, I shouldn't be wearing them.  They are way too big.  I walked out of the dressing room and asked two separate salespeople if they look too small and "if you passed me in the mall would you say 'what the hell is that girl wearing'"  They both laughed and then another customer began to tell us that she just saw someone wearing thigh boots and a short skirt and you couldn't tell if it was her thighs or her lady parts.  Um....

3.  I like to call this one...NAILED IT!  American Eagle: Original Boot.  First of all, here's my inspiration photo...

Source: Fashion Police

These are a size 14 and fit like a glove.....that you dried too long so it shrunk...alot.  I REFUSE to try on a size 16, especially when I fit all this awesomeness in a size 10 at Macy's. 

Which pair did I buy?  None, I'm not paying $80 for a pair of jeans that BETTER NOT fit me next month!  However, if I did have an extra $80 that would otherwise just be thrown in the trash, I would buy the Silvers.  I like the Inc jeans and they are stretchy and comfy but I feel like they are little on the 'mom jean' side (in the wash and style that I tried on).  I feel like the Silvers are much more trendy and when someone saw me leaving the mall with Fluffette they wouldn't expect me to get in to a minivan with a stick figure family on the back window (not that those aren't super duper cute...)

Upon completion of my research, I decided to do some Boudoir photos for Mr. Fluff.  I'm a little pastey and need a spray tan but look how tiny my waist is!  DAYUM!

Yes that really happened.  I understand if you don't wanna be my friend anymore.  (insert blushing smiley here)

After my Boidoir shoot, I promptly went to the food court and got some Sonic Cheesesticks.  Look, nobody was killed during my research, I didn't have a nervous breakdown and I didn't get escorted out of the mall after my photo shoot at Victoria's Secret so I'm pretty sure I earned those cheesesticks.  Pretty much the best thing I've put in my mouth in months!!!!! 

By raise of hands, how many of your minds just went to the gutter after that last comment?  (looking around) Everyone?

You should be ashamed of yourself,

Fluffy in Frisco

Denim Debate: Part One

I realize I’m a little late on my post this week but don’t fret, Fluffy is here so you can get off my nutz, Hippy in Hutto!! Before I get in to the hours and hours of denim research I conducted this week, I would first like to share my Canvas Ordering Fail.  In case you weren’t aware, 16x20 is NOT just two 8x10s.  It’s actually this big….. (bigger than life size and fairly creepy but I’m still hanging that mug over my couch!)

Yes, I realize that’s pretty simple math but I just couldn’t wrap my head around it.  The REALLY sad part is that I failed took Honors Math in High School!!! 

Moving on, jean shopping is definitely in my “top 5 things I hate” list.  That list also includes: pumping gas, going to the bathroom, swimsuit shopping and…being THIS awesome (HF).  Alas, since I feel much more comfortable with myself as well as my “trunk junk”, I decided I would go try on some jeans that people have highly recommended.  I’d like to think that I have an hour glass figure.  Why?  Well , because that’s THE BEST body shape to have in my opinion.  Curves in all the right places with a teeny waist….yes please!  The reality is this….I am actually pear shaped and have VERY thick legs and a larger than life arse.  Regardless of size, I’ve always had an issue finding jeans that fit.  They are either too big in the waist or too small in the legs.  Woe is me. 

First, go take a shot of patron because you’re about to see some pictures of my bootay and you may not be able to handle that sober.  Done?  Ok, now sit back, relax and enjoy what I like to call  “the good, the bad, and the Fugly”.

1.        The Bad.  Ann Taylor Loft: Curvy Boot.  The size 14 was too big in the waist, but the size 12 was holding on for dear life in the ladyhole region.  The wash did absolutely nothing for me and I did not feel attractive in them.  NEEEEXT!

2.        The Good.  Inc: Curvy Fit.  I don’t mean to toot my own horn but TOOT TOOT!  First of all, size 10?  Hell to the yeah.  To be honest, I would probably buy these regardless of what they actually looked like and wear them inside out so that the world could see I fit all this (gyrating hips and pointing at self up and down) in a size 10.  I’m not a huge fan of this wash but I feel like they support my poop chute in an agreeable manner. 

3.        F.U.G.L.Y.  You ain’t got no alibi….  Big Star: Maddie Boot.   These came with one of  the highest recommendations of all and can be found in the back of the store at The Buckle.  Yes,  they got all “ah ha, hush that fuss. Everybody move to the back of the bus” on us Fluffy girls.  (oh, you don't listen to OutKast so you have no clue what that means? Too bad.)

       The Buckle puts all the “skinny” jeans in the front and all the “big booty ho” jeans in the back.  I asked the salesman if they were ashamed of the fat girls and just hide them so nobody can see them.  He was noticeably uncomfortable.  Fluffy 1, Salesman 0.  These jeans really need no introduction and I still laugh from looking at these pictures.  I like to call these The “ I just ate a shyt ton of powdered donuts then wiped my hands on my legs and azz” jeans.  Pretty much the worse wash in America and how effing huge does it make my butt look?!?!?!?!?!?!?  Do NOT add to cart.  (even my attempt at being super cool and putting my thumb in my pocket couldn't help the awfulness of these jeans)

The average price for all these jeans is about $70, which isn't completely awful if the fit is just right.  The wash, style and fit are so different and so so important to help us be confident. 

Which jeans will Fluffy buy?  Did Fluffy kill any salespeople?  Was the bambalance called to come assist Fluffy when she has a mental breakdown in the dressing room???? 

I decided to break this in to two separate parts to keep you coming back for more (insert evil laugh here).  I have three more to share with you next week so you’ll have to tune in! 

Dun…dun….dun…

Fluffy in Frisco

What Had Happened Was.....

The plan was that I would take the weekend off from working out and start 30 Day Shred again on Monday.  My knee was really bothering me after my big Turkey Trot success (hair flip) and I didn’t want to make it worse.  (I’m not 100% sure what “shins” are but I AM 46.89% sure that I had shin splints).  I didn’t overindulge on Thanksgiving (patting self on back) and planned to stay on track even though I wouldn’t be working out. 

Well, those dreams were crushed.  Saturday I started feeling weak and tingly (not in the good way) and laid on the couch all.day.long.  I finally went to bed at 6:30pm and left Mr. Fluff for some quality time with Fluffette.  I still felt bad on Sunday and apparently so did Fluffette.  As I was bringing her back to the living room after an hour of trying to put her down for the night with no luck, she projectile vomited all over me.  I am not exaggerating when I say that I was covered from neck to knee and stood in a puddle of nastiness.  I have truly never seen that much vomit in my life.  Here’s a reenactment of my face for the next four hours after that happened… (yes, i look like a bassett hound)

Monday morning came and working out was the furthest thing from my mind.  Not only had I not eaten more than a couple of bites of food in two days but now, Mr. Fluff was sick.  He NEVER gets sick and even called in to work.  I can’t even remember the last time he called in.  He does NOT miss work for any reason so I knew he felt awful.  I, on the other hand, would call in to work because my pinky hurt.  They give you sick days to USE.  Duh.  Those two days were pretty much a blur.  Mr. Fluff didn’t leave the bed and Fluffette and I spent a lot of time cuddled on the couch watching Christmas movies on the Hallmark Channel.  (don’t judge)

I won’t bore you with all the explosive 'rhea and vomit details gory details of the last few days in my house but I will say that A. we have never been more happy to have two bathrooms and B. I had puh-lenty of time to catch up on my US Weekly’s stacked in the bathroom. 

I’m still not 100% so I’m keeping it short today (that’s what she said).  The good news is that since I haven’t eaten much in 5 days, I’ve lost almost 4 pounds and down to 182.  I am now 7 pounds away from my pre-pregnancy weight!!!!! 

HAPPY 6 MONTH BIRTHDAY, FLUFFETTE!!!!!

There is ALWAYS a silver lining,

Fluffy in Frisco

I Am Not A Runner

 First things first, I completed the Advocare 10 Day Cleanse on Wednesday and had great results!  The first time I did this cleanse was in September 2011 and I ended up pregnant.  Needless to say, the 6 pound weight loss lasted about 4 minutes.  I decided to try it again right before Thanksgiving in hopes it would get my mind right and keep me from rolling naked in mashed potatoes and gravy overindulging and setting back my progress thus far.  Last Monday, November 12^th, I weighed in at 192 pounds.  I weighed myself approximately 42 times per day for the next 10 days and the number was all over the place.  My final weigh in was yesterday and I weighed 185.4.  That’s a loss of 6.6 pounds in 10 days.  More importantly, I feel great!  If you are interested, here’s a link to the 10 Day Herbal Cleanse.  Enjoy!

Second things second, I attempted my very first 5k yesterday. 

I am not a runner.

I was so nervous yesterday morning you would have thought it was the first day of school and I was worried that I didn’t pick the right outfit to start out the year.  I really really really worked myself up over this run.  I have been telling myself all week that there’s absolutely no way that I would be able to run 3.106 miles.  The longest I’ve ever run was 1.5 miles.  And that was on Monday. 

I am not a runner.

Mr. Fluff and Fluffette came along to support me and I met up with a friend to run with.  On the way to the race I told Mr. Fluff that my friend, that hasn’t done any training AT ALL, would most likely leave me in the dust and finish the race before me.  He said, “who cares” and I said, “your face is stupid”. 

I am not a runner.

As we lined up with over 2000 other cattle being herded people on Thanksgiving morning, I took a deep breath.  I told my friend that she could leave me in the dust if she needed, I didn’t mind.  I honestly don’t remember if there was a gunshot bang, what's up with that thang.  I wanna know, how does it hang....   or if someone yelled “GO”, I just remember that I turned on my tunes and began to slowly jog.  It took about half a mile for my nerves to begin to settle down but I was really struggling.  I was ready to quit before I made it to the first mile marker.  WEAK.  By the time I saw the sign saying I reached mile 1, I thought for sure the race should almost be over.  Um….it had been like 12 minutes. 

I am not a runner

Early on in the race I thought about Mama Laughlin and how she has experienced moments that she wanted to quit and felt like she was “being lifted up” to help her finish her race.  Over and over again I said “lift me up”.  I didn’t know who, exactly, I wanted to lift me up….I just knew that I needed help.   

I am not a runner.

Thankfully, Whistle by FloRida streamed through my earphones and that gave me a little lift to keep going.  Once I completed the first mile, I knew I wanted to walk.  I started my mind effing game and told myself that I could walk once I made it to the end of this street, then to that cone, then to that water station and finally I said I would stop at mile 2.  My plan was to stop running at mile 2, walk about half a mile, then finish out the race with a bang.  At this point, my friend was ahead of me and for a moment I got mad.  She hasn’t been working at this for the past 7 weeks.  She doesn’t seem worked up about this race or nervous in the very least.  I finally snapped out of it and told myself that I’m not racing against HER.  For all I know, she was a cross country runner in high school.  I am racing against myself.  Nobody else on those streets should matter.  This is about Fluffy finishing something.      

I am not a runner. 

Surely somebody moved the damn “Mile 2” sign.  This is ridiculous and I’m pretty sure I am on mile 15.  Again, I thought about Mama Laughlin and her “angels” that lifted her up.  I wondered who her angels were and then began to think about mine.  I thought about Granny and Papa, two Grandpas and my two cousins, Candy and Luke.  They both died at a young age (19 and 23).  I asked again for them to lift me up and help me keep going.  Nothing.  What the hell does a girl have to do around here to get some help!!

I am not a runner.

In the distance I saw it, my stopping point.  A young man holding up the Mile 2 marker.  It was a big sigh of relief because I knew I could start walking soon.  As I approached the young man, I finally heard It:  My angel. 

Luke said, “I died for your freedom so, dammit Fluffy, YOU CAN FINISH THIS RACE”.  Rather aggressive for an angel but he was right.  He was killed in 2004 while fighting for our country so the least I could do was celebrate my freedom by running this race.  No, it’s not the same thing but helped me to JUST.KEEP.GOING.  The final 1.106 miles was the longest 1.106 miles in the history of time.  Time stood still as I watched the floods of spandex (Mr. Fluff said he’s never seen so much spandex in one place) pass by me.  There was no end in sight and I was tired.  My legs were tired.  My pride was tired.

I am not a runner.

I was running extremely slowly, but I was still running.  When I thought I just couldn’t go any longer, Chumbawumba streamed through my headphones, “I get knocked down but I get up again, you’re never gonna keep me down”.  I fully realize that this is one of the cheesiest songs in the history of music, but that’s how I roll.  I sang along and pushed my quiteverythingyoustart self to just keep running.  I was in the home stretch.

I am not a runner.

As I rounded the final corner and the Finish Line was in sight, my eyes filled with tears.  I don’t ever admit when I cry, but I will admit it today.  There was a shit ton of people surrounding the finish line waiting for their friends and family.  I didn’t want them to see me cry so I sucked it up. 

After 41 minutes and 11 seconds of running, not a single step of walking, I crossed the finish line.  I was finally able to start walking and my legs turned to jello.  I was a little dizzy and my eyes glazed over.  I pushed someone out of my way to get to the fella passing out bottles of water and chugged it like I was in a drinking contest. 

It felt good, like slapyourmomandpunchyourhusband good.  I never thought in a million years that I could do this.  I mean…7 weeks ago I could barely run for 90 seconds at a time without dry heaving.  

I finally finished something I started and it feels uh-mazing! 

As of November 22, 2012.... I am a runner.

Fluffy in Frisco

Suck It Up

This week I’m gonna talk about a few successes I’ve had.  After all, it’s the small things that count, right?

First up, toe touching.  Now, I know this seems like a dumb thing to celebrate but a couple of months ago when Jillian told me to touch my toes during a stretch, I laughed in her face. In case you didn’t get the memo, ejecting human life from your lady hole does a real number on your hips.  It honestly hurt like a mutha fugger just to sit down on the ground and now you want me to touch my toes.  KEEP DREAMING!  But alas, after a couple of months worth of dates with Jillian Michaels and my 3x a week runs, I introduced my fingers to my toes and it was a beautiful thing!  (yes, yes I did strategically place Fluffette in front of me to save you from a denim crotch shot.  You.are.welcome)

Next up, my wedding dress.  My wedding dress is a size 12 (which is really a 4 in wedding dress sizes, right?  No?  dammit!)  Anyways, this morning while cooking my ¼ cup of egg beaters with mushrooms and spinach for breakfast, I decided that I should attempt to put on my wedding dress for motivation.  And so, I left my breakfast on the stove top and went to the back closet where I keep all my “someday” clothes and gave it a try.  The fact that I was able to get my dress over my hips was a celebration in itself.  After A LOT of sucking in and taking breaks to breathe, I was finally able to get it zipped!!!  No, I didn’t take a single breath during the 3 minutes that I had it on and no, I hadn’t brushed my hair (or my teeth) yet but that doesn’t matter.  I haven’t fit in to this dress in over a year so breathing or not, this is a success.  Note: when you leave your breakfast on the stovetop, remove it from heat or you will return to a burnt mess that you will eat anyways because you are too lazy to start over. 

Mr. Fluff may not know this, but I will be wearing this dress to dinner for our anniversary next month.  I realize it may be a little dressy for Chili’s but I want the world to know that I can fit back in to my wedding dress!

And finally, my biggest success involves running.  Sunday afternoon I put on my favorite pair of spandex pants and a sweatshirt.  I got out my headphones and iphone armband and took to the streets.  I accidentally took a gander at what would be expected of me during my week 5 day 3 run and had a mild panic attack.  Um, you want me to run for 20 MINUTES STRAIGHT?  Are you kidding me? (Fluffette was appalled by this too)

 During the 5 minute warmup, I attempted to talk myself down from the ledge.  I have been working towards this and I know I can do it.  Or can I?  Yes, I can.   No, I can’t.  Yes, I can.  You get the picture. This was another battle with Skuffy (skinny fluffy).  As the little robot voice in headphones told me to “begin jogging”, I took a deep breath and ran like it was last call at the buffet an old man was following me with a walker.  That’s right, I started off slow.  I didn’t care how fast I was going, I just wanted to finish.  (that’s what she said).  For approximately the first 8 minutes of the run I tried not to think about the fact that I was running.  I chose to concentrate on the fact that I’d chosen to eat chili for lunch.  Wondering if this was my best food choice before a run and hoping I wouldn’t get a rumble-y in my tumble-y.  I do realize that this would be an UH-MAZING story if I told you that I left a brown trail through the streets of my neighborhood.  The story would end with me immediately putting a For Sale sign in my yard and relocating my family to the deep woods of Alaska where nobody knows me.  Thankfully, the Poo Gods were on my side and I never got that rumble!  Hair flip. (and if you are one of the people that wanted to hear that story…you are a sick, sick person!)

At about the 15 minute mark, I was tired.  REAL TIRED.  My legs felt like jello and I’d accumulated more than the allowed amount of sweat on my lower back.  I regretted the fact that I was only wearing a sports bra under my sweatshirt so I was stuck.  Stuck in a pool of my own filth.  Up until this point in my run, I was able to mind eff myself to keep going.  My trick?  I find an object, such as a mailbox or car and tell myself that I can start walking once I get to that object.  Then, once I get to that object, I find a new object to push myself to.  And so on and so on.  Well, that trick wasn’t working anymore and I wanted to give up.   I had yet another battle with Skuffy on all the reasons why I should start walking. 

But then the running playlist angel landed on my shoulder and the song “Feels So Close” by Calvin Harris came on and that was all the push I needed.  (if you are a runner, add this song to your playlist)  It reminded me of all the reasons I started this life change and I just kept putting one foot in front of the other.  I knew, at that point, that I just had to SUCK IT UP.  Before I knew it, the robot voice was in my headphones telling me that I could begin my countdown walk.  I did it!  This is where many people would say that they had an emotional moment and tears streamed down their face.  Not me, I am, apparently, dead inside.  I did not shed one tear.  I had a huge smile on my face and said out loud, “ I DID IT!”.  My neighbor outside working on his lawn thinks I’m a complete nutcase (and I am) but I was on cloud nine.  After it was all said and done, it was hard but it wasn’t NEARLY as hard as I’d worked it up to be. (yes, she said that too). 

Here I am right after my run and my off the shoulder (hair flip) sweatshirt says it all.  “SUCK IT UP BUTTERCUP”.

The big lesson of today is this:

***I run my very first 5k in exactly 8 days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Suckin’ it up,

Fluffy in Frisco

The Results are in.......

There comes a time in every girl’s life that her balls must drop.  Yes, you read that correctly.  Now, before you get too excited, I will not be sharing pictures of myself in a sports bra.  I’m so sorry to disappoint you. 

I’ve recently thought a lot about writing Fluffette a letter.  There are so many things that I want her to know just in case I’m not here to teach her.  I know that sounds morbid but there’s just no guarantee for tomorrow for any of us.  It would be a fairly sappy letter so I will save that for a later post, maybe.  (I want to give you all time to stock up on tissues).  One of the main points in that letter that I want to share today is this:

“Don’t ever let your insecurities DEFINE  you.  Instead, let them DRIVE  you to accomplish your dreams.”

Well, I need to practice what I preach, so today I will not let my insecurities define me.  I will share with you my weight and measurements thus far.  (this is a huge step for me because I don’t want to share my weight with myself, much less my 3 readers!!)

***Note to Mr. Fluff:  Please don’t read any further.  As far as you’re concerned, I weigh 120 pounds and have a 19 inch waist.   Thank you.

Date:  May 29, 2012 (Fluffettes Birthday)

Weight:  236

Chest:  full of milk

Waist: error, number not found

Calf:  Can’t reach that far to measure

Ring Size: larger than a 6, can’t wear wedding ring

Date:  September 5, 2012

Weight: 208.2

Chest:  41 inches

Arms:  14

Waist:  39.25

Thigh:   28.5

Calf:  17.75

Ring Size: 6

Date:  October 3, 2012

Weight:  200.4

Chest: 39.5

Arms:  14.75

Waist:  38.75

Thigh:  28.75

Calf:  17

Date:  November 4, 2012

Weight: 190.2

Chest:  37.5

Arms:  14.5

Waist:  34.75

Calf:  17

Ring Size:  4.75

As you’ll remember, this is my goal outfit.  The shirt fits much better (though I still won’t be wearing this in public anytime soon).  I need to do A LOT of work on those bat wings arms.  The pants once barely went over my knees are now up to my Kim Kardashian arse!  I should point out that these are not my pre-pregnancy jeans.  I haven’t fit in to these jeans since 2008 but I feel that day coming again!!

Overall weightloss: 45.8 pounds  (18 pounds since 9/5)

Overall inches lost (since 9/5):  8.75 inches

As far as workin’ on my fitness, I am currently in the middle of week 5 of Couch to 5k in preparation for my first ever 5k on Thanksgiving Day.  (complete look of fear on my face). I’m also on week 2 of Jillian Michaels’ Ripped in 30.  If you haven’t invested in 30 Day Shred or Ripped in 30 yet, you should.  This shit is legit!  As you can see from the decrease in my ring size, Jillian literally worked me to my fingertips!  I’ve lost 18 pounds and 8.75 inches from it and we all know I didn’t try my hardest. 

So there you have it.  All my insecurities all up in your face.  I hope that sharing my weight and measurements (and giant arse picture) can inspire at least one person to make some shit happen!  Or at least provide you with a giggle or two. 

Workin it and ownin it,

Fluffy in Frisco

Fat Jeans

As the temperatures of North Texas began to decline, so did the number on my scale.  I am down 3.8 pounds since last week and that gave me the confidence to do something that I haven’t done in a very long time.  Yup, I decided to try on my fat jeans.  I haven’t fit into my fat jeans since early 2011.  Shortly after purchasing said fat jeans, I went on a diet and managed to lose about 13 pounds.  Then Mr. Fluff got me pregnant so I, very quickly, gained back that 13 pounds (and an extra 48). 

Before I even put the jeans on over my cankles, I convinced myself that the outcome would be depressing.  After about 20 minutes of Denim Dips to get them over my buh-dunk-a-dunk then one last jump up and down to get them up to my waist…I did it!!!  They buttoned!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Did my waistline look like gooey marshmallows oozing out the sides of a s’more?  Maybe.  Did I say a prayer each time I bent down with Fluffette that the crotch wouldn’t blow out?  Maybe.  Did people judge me because my pants were so tight they looked painted on?   Maybe.  Did I get funny looks once I left the Target bathroom stall because I tripped over my left foot while doing Denim Dips and crashed in to the wall?  Maybe.  Did I have the indention of a button and zipper on my gut when I took off the jeans at the end of the day?  Maybe.  Did I dwell on any of these negatives?  HELL TO THE NO!  I don’t care if these jeans are clearly mismarked (I am not a size 12) or that many people judged me.  Nope, I thanked sweet baby Jesus for inventing Empire waist shirts and the abililty to layer and wore those jeans like I was getting paid for it.  Me fitting in to these jeans is a lot like putting Fluffette in 3 month clothing.  It may hurt a little and some shit’s gonna  get dislocated, but it CAN.BE.DONE!! 

The success of fitting in to these jeans (and I use the term “fitting in to” very loosely) helped me make better choices.  Rather than eat Raising Cane’s with the rest of my family, I opted for a Lean Cuisine instead (and then took a bite of a chicken tender when nobody was looking).  It also helped me complete Week 4 day 2 of my Couch to 5k as well as start Jillian Michael’s Ripped in 30.  I have fallen multiple times but I always stand back up and it is finally paying off.  I’m getting my shape back and even have the slightest hint of muscle in my arms.  I now know that I’m capable of doing this. 

Rockin my painted on fat jeans!

As the old saying goes: “Life is not measured by the amount of times you fall but by your ability to stand back up and kick life in the balls”.  Ok, this isn’t an “old saying” but definitely a "Fluffy saying”! 

Today I stand tall (mostly because my jeans are too tight and my ability to bend is limited).  I have life by the ears and I’m kicking it square in the balls.  

Fluffy  in Frisco