Wednesday, April 24, 2013

So Fresh and So Clean Clean

If you would've asked me two years ago if I would ever eat clean, I would say, "What the hell is that???  Does that mean you cook your lasagna in the dishwasher?!?!?"

As part of my 24 Day Challenge efforts, I decided that the Fluff family would eat clean.  I picked up an issue of Clean Eating Magazine to get started.  I am IN LOVE with that magazine.  The most valuable part of the magazine is the two week menu plan and grocery list that it provides.  Pretty much everything on the menu has been quite delicious.  There is a huge difference in fresh fruits, veggies and organic meat.  Definitely worth the money in my book!  We definitely don't eat clean all the time and I'm certain that even when we ARE eating clean that we're doing something wrong. But we're giving it a try and that's all you can ask, right?

I've even started Fluffette on the whole eating clean phenomenon.  I always struggled with my weight as a child so if there's anything I can do to save Fluffette from experiencing that, I'm doing it.  I'm the one that buys groceries so really it's up to me to teach her the way.  Now, I'm not one of those parents that doesn't want to feed their child cake for their first birthday.

**cough, cough......A Yogi.....cough, cough**  I will NEVER stop giving you a hard time about that.

You know the kids that never drank in High School, then went off to college and became massive alcoholics??  Depriving your child of food will cause the same thing.  I don't want Fluffette going off to college saying, "oh snap....Funyuns" and gaining the Freshman 400.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I would like to publicly apologize to all the people I've ever given a hard time about eating clean or organically.  You were just sittin there, being all skinny, while I was just bein all fat and judgy.  You win.

Two of my new favorite things are Almond Butter and Sprouted Grain Bread.

I tried this in Starbucks' Protein Bistro Box.  

This is my favorite.  I tried it as a free sample at Costco.  It is MUCH  cheaper there than at Target. 

I found this at Costco.  It freezes wonderfully. 

Get in the Zone....Auto Zone

I finally finished my 24 Day Challenge.  Thank you baby Jesus.  That was the longest 24 days of my life.  I WOULD tell you to find a 24 day block that you have zero plans but that's just unreasonable.  We all have a happy hour, kids birthday party...or wine wednesday that we just can't give up.  If you decide to do this challenge from Advocare, I would just say to get your head in the right place and do the best you can.  Even if you cheat every now and then, you will still see results.  My major con with this product is that is has an almost $200 price tag.  A little rich for my blood.  I would advise that you sweet talk your spouse (like I did) or a parent...or even a total stranger to buy this for you.

And the results are in.....

Date: March 26, 2013
Weight: 172.2
Chest: 38
Arm: 12.25
Waist: 32
Hips: 41
Thigh: 25.5
Calf: 16

Date: April 24, 2013
Weight: 171.2 (down 1 pound)
Chest: 35.5 (down 2.5 inches)
Arm: 12 (down .25)
Waist: 30.5 (down 1.5 inches)
Hips: 40.5 (down .5)
Thigh: 23.5 (down 2 inches)
Calf: 16 (remained the same)

That's an overall loss of 6.75 inches and one pound lost. I'm much closer to my goal weight so I am completely ok with losing inches, not pounds.  Time to tone this shyt up, yo.

This cleanse even gave me the confidence to buy a new swimsuit.  I have ZERO business wearing a bikini.  There's pretty much never been a time in my life when I looked ok in one but I've made my fair share of public appearances sans bikini.

For my after pics, I decided to share my swimsuit pics with you.  Disclaimer:  I have a gimp hand so I couldn't get it tied very well.  The top part is all caddy-wonkered so just use your imagination.  I am not ballsy enough to show you my baby makin hips in the buff so I tied a scarf around my waist. Get over it.

I don't love the way I look and I never will.  However, for the first time in a long.....I don't HATE it either.  I am starting to see definition in my back and shoulders.  I'll take it!

I'll leave you today with a picture of me before and after my very first airbrush tan today.  I am now addicted!


Right after.  It continues to get darker throughout the day.

Just sittin here......bein all tan and shyt.

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Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Carpe the Carpal

I was on medical leave last week....from blog world....because I had Carpal Tunnel Surgery a week ago Friday.  I was not AT ALL prepared for how out of commission I would be. I couldn't do anything at all with Fluffette for a good 4 days.  I'm not gonna lie, the first couple of days were nice.  No responsibility.  No cooking.  No shytty diapers.  I laid in bed for the better part of those two days hopped up on Hydrocodone.  It was delicious.

I guess I just didn't think that a 15 minute surgery was really that big of a deal. I wasn't at all nervous about surgery as I've had multiple procedures in the past.  I remember coming back from my 'rainbows and unicorns' state of mind after the surgery and talking about the following with whomever was in the room.

1.  My neon panties. I don't remember exactly what I said but I do remember bringing them up and declaring that "neon is so in this season".
2.  Drinking.  I would be attending a bachelorette party the next night and needed to make sure I was ok to drink.  This one was so important that I asked about it no less than 3 times.
3.  I also asked them to "do my other hand so I can get another nap".

I'd had multiple appointments with these same people so they were fully aware that I am bat shyt crazy and seemed undaunted by my declarations and requests.

On the way home from the surgery center, an intense feeling of nauseousness came on and I advised Mr. Fluff to IMMEDIATELY pull over.  As I rolled out of his truck in some PINK sweatpants and my NKOTB (new kids on the block) t-shirt, I sat on the curb......with my finger down my throat.....throwing up sprite.....on a major rush hour one of the nicest neighborhoods in Plano.   

It was only then, that Mr. Fluff realized just how lucky he is to have me.

Since I'm typing with one shytty hand....and another, even shyttier hand, I'll keep the typing to a minimum.  Here's a few pictures from the last week.

NKOTB in the Hizzie!  My right hand swelled up like the Michelin Man.

My Captain Morgan shot that I sent to a friend to see if my outfit was ok for the Bachelorette party.  I tried to put a giant bracelet on to hide my brace.  The bracelet almost broke so I put a gaudy ring on instead....then it got stuck on my swollen finger.  

This past Saturday, 3 Generations of Fluffs did a 5k.  #babymakinhips

Frisco StrEATS Food Truck Festival. Fluffette loved feeling the wind in her hair.  

Nutella, Peanut Butter and Bacon Slider.  UN-FLIPPIN-BELIEVABLE.  You can't tell by this picture but my panties are definitely moist.  It was the best thing I've put in my mouth in a while.  

For those of you that aren't easily grossed out, I'll share a picture of my incision.  If you ARE easily grossed out, please hit the X in the top right hand corner of your screen.  I'll be posting my Cleanse results in a couple of days.
Seriously....I'm gonna post a picture.....are you ready???  #lastchancetogetthefluffout

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Thursday, April 11, 2013

Road Trip: Fluffy Edition

Fluffette and I are having a tough time this week gettin' back in the swing of things.  We travelled over 850 miles last week and we are TIRED!  Fluffette is teething right now and has been waking up every few hours at night and screaming her face off.  I know you’re not supposed to wish away time, but last night I would’ve given anything to make Fluffette older so she could tell me what was wrong and how I could fix it.  Seeing your leetle baby screaming and crying their face off is pretty much the worst thing ever.  Thankfully, she was able to console herself by hitting me in the face with a wall decoration.  It wasn’t pleasant but she was happy, dammit and I wasn’t gonna eff that up at 1am! 

Last Tuesday we set out for Gigi’s house in Texas City, TX.  My grandparents have lived there for like 150 years.  They prolly paid like $1000 for the house.  Back when you could go to the movies for a nickel and when you had to walk two miles in the snow to school each day…uphill both ways. 
My cousins were in town from Virginia so we wanted to let our kids play.  We were there for less than 24 hours but Fluffette got to eat Gigi’s sugar cookies so it was definitely worth it!

Wednesday through Saturday we stayed in Austin with ‘’A Yogi in Austin” but still managed to drive a shyt ton each day.  These girls don't know it yet but they WILL be best friends.  Fluffette ate all of Yogette's food scraps off the floor so that pretty much means they've always got each other's back, right?!?!?!

Thursday we got up at 6 am to get ready to head to Round Top Antiques Week by 7am.  We finally left the house around 8.  Getting two kids and two adults WOMEN ready in the morning is no easy task. 
Once we got to Round Top it was sooooooooooooooo cold…well…cold for Texas.  We bundled up our babies, got out our carts, strollers, coolers, diaper bags, and pretty much anything else we could find and set out to spend some money.  First stop was at the food truck for Hot Chocolate and Coffee.  We didn’t really think ahead on this one and attempted to pull a cart, while pushing a stroller, while drinking a hot drink with our other hand….on uneven terrain.  People stared.  People judged.  We just kept on being awesome whilst showing off our mad skillz! 
Since I’m a stalker through and through, I forced A Yogi, Yogette and Fluffette to trek through until we found the Junk Gypsy tent.  Once we finally got there, I was a little disappointed.  They had very little ‘junk’ and a whole lotta merchandise.  I guess you can do that once you’ve made it big!
Jolie Sikes-Smith was working the tent!!!!!!  We both asked her to hold our babies for pictures and she obliged!  She’s even more beautiful in person which is super annoying.  My whole “everyone on tv has been massively airbrushed” theory has been proven wrong. 

This was pretty much the best day of Fluffette’s life.  Well….other than the day she met me.  Hair Flip. 
After I got my stalking over with, it was time to eat.  Shocker.  We headed back down the road with our carts and strollers in tow and found an indoor restaurant to feed our bebes.  After we ate, I started feeling bad for not buying at least a Junk Gypsy coffee mug!  So, Fluffette and I headed back to the tent for a follow-up stalking adventure.  I ended up buying us each a t-shirt…and a coffee mug…..and a hot pink plastic cup that Fluffette grabbed off the shelf.  She was so cute holding that pink cup and pretending to drink it.  Well, until she vomited in it and slung it around.  Parenting is never a dull moment!

A Yogi didn’t buy ONE DAMN THING and I only spent like $125.  It was still a great time and I got to introduce A Yogi to the world of Cheese Curds.  They sound nasty but it’s just fried cheese and you all know my obsession with fried cheese! 
Friday we headed to Wimberley for lunch and shopping.  We tried on vintage hats and then managed to take our shirts off to try on tops at a Patio Sale at a boutique….at the corner of a busy street.  Keepin it Klassy as always!

Then Saturday came, the main reason for our trip.  Yogette was turning ONE!  I still can’t believe she’s already ONE!  Yogette had a fairly tough entrance in to the world and I am so so proud of the little lady she has become!  She’s a fighter, dammit…just like her mommy!
HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY YOGETTE!  Aunt Fluffy hearts you. 
High Five, Bish!

We didn't earn any money but what we lack in sales, we make  up in overall awesomeness!

After celebrating Yogette’s First Birthday, we headed to Hippie in Hutto’s house to feed Fluffette dinner before we got on the road.  I had it in my mind that if I fed her dinner, then drove home that she would sleep the whole way then easily go down in her crib for the night.  That’s not at all how it went.  She DID sleep the whole way home but once we got here, she wanted to play with EVERY.SINGLE.TOY she owns.  She finally went to sleep again at 11:30…and we’ve struggled ever since!
An update on my Cleanse will be posted next week.  GET EXCITED!!!!

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