Let me tell you a little story about a girl. A girl that wanted to be the school mascot but never had the courage to try out. A girl that wanted to be the pretty one…or the skinny one…or the popular one. A girl that has always been the funny one. A girl that says the F word more than she should. A girl that enjoys cheesy movies. A girl that rocks out to Miley Cyrus. A girl that wanted to be a hip hop dancer. Um…are you done laughing yet? This girl COULD be a hip hop dancer. Rude. Moving on…A girl that never knew she was capable of the amount of love she has for her husband and daughter. A girl that loves food. A girl that would eat more salads if the lettuce was deep fried. A girl that has been hurt. A girl that has hurt others. A girl that enjoys hearing about other people’s drama because it makes her feel normal. A girl that can drop it like it’s hot. A girl that struggles with “picking it back up again”. A girl that has seen every Friends episode one bajillion times. A girl that wanted to name her daughter Chandler. A girl that dances in front of the mirror. A girl that poses for pictures with her hands on her hips to make her arms look smaller. A girl that snorts when she laughs. A girl that laughs at her own jokes before telling them. A girl that most times has no filter. A girl that quits most everything she starts. A girl that loves playing charades. A girl that will slit her wrists with a plastic knife if she sees anymore political shit on Facebook. A girl that dreams about food. A girl that is very addicted to Pinterest. A girl that hates shaving. A girl that loves Fall because she doesn’t have to shave as much. A girl that secretly loves when the skinny, popular girl from high school gets fat. A girl that read Fifty Shades of Gray (the trilogy) in less than a week. A girl that hasn’t read that much since the 80’s. A girl that cries while watching Biggest Loser. A girl that hates admitting when she cries. A girl that once got drunk and went down a slip n slide in her t-shirt and underwear in front of work colleagues and her new boyfriend. A girl that married that new boyfriend 5 months later. A girl that learned a long time ago that if you laugh loud enough at yourself, you can’t hear anyone else laughing at you. A girl that sings rap songs in an opera voice. A girl that has a flat stomach…..when lying on her back. A girl that WILL bring sexy back. A girl that hopes she can inspire. A girl that now despises the word “girl” because she has used it one bajillion times (yes, it’s a number). A girl that lost 4.8 pounds this week.
THAT’S RIGHT MUTHA FUGGGGERS! Fluffy lost 4.8 effing pounds!!!! After I got done doing a pelvic thrust and a fist pump, I did this…
“The Bytch” aka scale is my new best friend. I ‘m seriously thinking about strapping her in the Baby Bjorn and taking her ass to the mall to show her off!!!! In case you need a visual of that….
I am still in shock that I had such an awesome first week and it wasn’t nearly as hard as I thought it would be. I don’t want to say “I watched what I ate”. I hate that saying. I don’t know about you but I watch every morsel of food before it goes in my mouth, it doesn’t matter if it’s an apple or
a slice an entire apple pie. This saying is just plain stupid. Anyways, I was much more aware of what I was eating and actually measured out my foods to ensure I was eating proper portions.
This blog has been such motivation for me because it’s what holds me accountable. I went to a birthday party this past weekend and turned down cake. Who does that?!?!?!?! Everyone knows that the best cakes are 1. Birthday cake and 2. Wedding cake. Knowing that I could have the satisfaction of telling you that I turned it down made it worth saying NO.
That’s right bytches, Fluffy is 4.8 pounds closer to being a Hommy! (Hot Mommy).
I’m just a girl and this is my story,
Fluffy in Frisco