Wednesday, May 8, 2013

33 Things

Yesterday I turned the big 33.  Don’t worry if you forgot, there’s still plenty of time to send me elaborate gifts well wishes.  In honor of my birthday I decided to share 33 random and mostly stupid things you may not know about me. 

1.        I like to make lists
2.       I have Panic Anxiety disorder. Large crowds give me explosive ‘rhea.
3.       I’ve done 9 out of 10 things I said I would NEVER do as a mother.
4.       I’m starting my own business called Dumpster Darlins Designs LLC.
5.       I hate cats.  Purring is CUH-REEPY.  I once rescued a cat, asked my sister to cat-sit….then never picked it back up.  Several years later she still has that damn cat.
6.       I’m obsessed with gory stories.  When I see that someone died, I want to know every detail of how it happened.
7.       I used to want to be CSI but then realized that my poor attention to detail would set me up for failure.
8.       I first got married when I was 24.  Divorced when I was 26.  (it was my ‘starter marriage’)
9.       Regardless of how much weight I lose or how tone I get, I will never fully love my body.  I’m human.
10.   All the scars and stretch marks I have tell MY story….and it’s a damn good one.
11.   I want to write a book someday. 
12.   I miss at least one patch of hair EVERY time I shave.
13.   Booger is one of my favorite words.  I call Fluffette “Boogie”
14.   I love Christmas movies.  Falalala Lifetime rocks my face off.
15.   I have a horrible habit of picking my nose.
16.   I rap the alphabet to Fluffette.
17.   I’m super gangsta.
18.   I will someday make a rap video.
19.   I live for inappropriate jokes.  I love laughing at something I shouldn’t.
20.   People may think I’m uber confident or conceited. I’m actually quite insecure. 
21.   We think that everything Fluffette does is absolutely amazing……because…well….it SOOO is.
22.   Fluffette got 5 new teeth in the past week.  If this ever happens again, one Baby Teeth Grower Fairy will die.
23.   I am deathly afraid of flying.  I once had a panic attack on a plane and ended up tripping down the aisle shouting for the flight attendant to let me off.  They pulled back in to the hanger and the whole plane had to wait 2 hours for them to retrieve my luggage.
24.   I watch Nick at Nite every.single.night.
25.   I’ve saved over $100 this year using my Target Red Debit Card.
26.   I have a tramp stamp tattoo that says “Free to Fly”.   I was well over 250 pounds when I got it.  When I lost weight the tattoo shrunk and now looks like it says “Fretty”. 
27.   In high school, some friends and I bought a lock and lock cutters to change out their parents liquor cabinet lock.  We drank everything in there then refilled everything with water.   We drank A LOT of liquor before they caught on.  That was when we first realized we were geniuses. 
28.   I’ve lost 70 pounds since being pregnant.
29.   Yes, I count the pounds I lost from actually birthing a baby.  If you don’t think that requires hard work then you are stupid misinformed.
30.   I’m 15.2 pounds away from my goal weight of 150.
31.   I fit in to my goal jeans.
Before - June 2012

32.   At the ripe old age of 33, I am more accepting of my imperfections than I ever have been.  There are many things I would change if I could but I’ve worked hard for this dimply body and I’ll rock this shyt till the day I die.
33.   I had a friend reach out to me and tell me that she’s lost 34 pounds because I inspired her.  This meant more to me than she will ever know. 
34.   I didn’t think I’d be able to come up with 33 things! 

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  1. 1. Happy Freakin' Birthday! Go shawty it's your birfday, we gon' party like it's your birfday!
    2. Love the clock arms above your panty door!
    3.#26 I LOLd. I know you're not laughing but let it be a reminder of how far you've come!
    4. Fun reading 'things I didn't know about you'
    5. You are an inspiration, I'm so proud of you!
    6. You are rockin' those jeans. One hot mama!
    7. And one last Happy Freakin' Birthday, celebrate all month no, all year! Hope it's the best yet.

    (7 for your birth date!)


  2. you look fantastic! Hope your birthday was a great one, and keep working on that are very funny and should be a natural!