Well, I fell off the wagon…again. I know this is a complete shocker given my background at being super awesome at sticking with stuff. I first started to teeter towards the edge last week during a cupcake class (decorating cupcakes isn’t the best choice one could make on their weight loss journey). I managed to make it through most of the day without eating a cupcake but then I finally fell, face first, in a pile of cupcakes.
It didn’t stop there. I worked out last Monday, then not again for the remainder of the week. The weather in good ol’ Texas fell below the 90s so all I wanted to do was curl up with Fluffette and watch Flipping Out and every Real Housewives of Anything episode ever aired. As each day passed, I told myself that I would “work out twice tomorrow”. I had good intentions but damn Andy Cohen down at Bravo decided to air yet another marathon of catty girls at each other’s throats so I HAD to watch!
As if I hadn’t fallen hard enough, I then realized that I got one of my sausage legs stuck in the spokes of said ‘wagon’. Before I had the chance to stand up, I realized that I was at Octoberfest and there was a Funnel Cake lying next to me. With the powdered sugar and fried goodness remains still gathered around my mouth, I then ate a turkey leg……and nachos….and Sonic Cheese sticks…..and my Grandma’s earthquake cake….and her homemade bread….and her homemade biscuits and sausage gravy. (There’s actually saliva dripping from my lips just thinking about. Damn, that woman can cook!)
On the drive home from Grandma’s house on Sunday, I realized just how hard I’d fallen. I felt awful and bloated and downright disgusting. I reassured myself that I am human and temptation lies around every corner. I am not yet strong enough to say no to Sonic Cheese sticks. I will pray that they go out of business so that I won’t have to worry about that temptation any longer. I realized that I needed to stand myself up, dust off the powdered sugar, and just move forward.
Monday was a new day so I put on my spandex and running shoes and I started over……again. When I got home from my run, I turned on 30 Day Shred and spent the next 20 minutes on Level 3 with my pal, Jillian Michaels. I cursed her for being skinny and also for not being nearly as funny as she thinks she is. Nobody’s laughing at your jokes, Jillian. NO ONE!! I digress. I then realized that I just flat out suck at eating right and exercising but vowed to myself to work on it.
Speaking of things I suck at……I took another cupcake decorating class today and wanted to share some pictures with you. I was craughing (crying from laughing so hard) in the middle of class by just how awful my cupcakes turned out. Please see below for proof.
1. Panda. Guess which one is mine.
It appears that my Panda has a bit of a weight problem. And by the looks of the left side of her face, she has also fallen off the wagon many a time. The teacher came up to me and said, "It will look better once you get all the components on it.". "um.....I'm done". She walked away.
We were supposed to make two but my eyes were swollen from craughing so I just couldn’t do it again. So I left them like this:
I continued to put my "special" stamp on a Fish Bowl, Monarch Butterfly and Crazy Horse. I think it’s safe to say that I...NAILED IT!
The morale of the story is this: When you think that you suck REAL bad at eating right and exercising, just take a look around. The world is FULL of other things you suck at!
Coming soon to Cupcake Wars,
Fluffy in Frisco