1. The Bad. Kut from the Kloth: Farrah. Yet again, the 12 doesn't fit over my thighs but the 14 is too big in the waist. No need to worry because the 14's are way too tight on my legs. It may be hard to see in this picture but I have several wrinkles below my buttocks and it looks like I have a horrific panty line.....where my panties don't even hit. The saleswomen came in and asked how I was doing to which I replied, "i'm funky shaped and these are an awful fit". She said "oh...." and simply walked away. No, "have you tried these $700 pair of jeans that even fit fat asses like you?". Nope, nothing. I'm assuming her picture is up in the executive offices at Nordstroms as one of the Top Salespeople Lady Persons.
3. I like to call this one...NAILED IT! American Eagle: Original Boot. First of all, here's my inspiration photo...
These are a size 14 and fit like a glove.....that you dried too long so it shrunk...alot. I REFUSE to try on a size 16, especially when I fit all this awesomeness in a size 10 at Macy's.
Which pair did I buy? None, I'm not paying $80 for a pair of jeans that BETTER NOT fit me next month! However, if I did have an extra $80 that would otherwise just be thrown in the trash, I would buy the Silvers. I like the Inc jeans and they are stretchy and comfy but I feel like they are little on the 'mom jean' side (in the wash and style that I tried on). I feel like the Silvers are much more trendy and when someone saw me leaving the mall with Fluffette they wouldn't expect me to get in to a minivan with a stick figure family on the back window (not that those aren't super duper cute...)
Upon completion of my research, I decided to do some Boudoir photos for Mr. Fluff. I'm a little pastey and need a spray tan but look how tiny my waist is! DAYUM!
Yes that really happened. I understand if you don't wanna be my friend anymore. (insert blushing smiley here)
After my Boidoir shoot, I promptly went to the food court and got some Sonic Cheesesticks. Look, nobody was killed during my research, I didn't have a nervous breakdown and I didn't get escorted out of the mall after my photo shoot at Victoria's Secret so I'm pretty sure I earned those cheesesticks. Pretty much the best thing I've put in my mouth in months!!!!!
By raise of hands, how many of your minds just went to the gutter after that last comment? (looking around) Everyone?
You should be ashamed of yourself,
Fluffy in Frisco