The Four C's

Cleaning:

We’ve had a maid for a few years and I decided this week that I would let them go and clean myself.  If you don’t have a maid you just rolled your eyes and said “boo-effing-hoo”.  However, if you DO have a maid you just shook your fists towards the ceiling and shouted “whyyyyyyyyyyy”.  Maids are one of THE BEST things ever invented and I pretty much immediately regretted my decision.  However, the truth of the matter is that we spend $180(including tip) a month on their service and I can find plenty of other things to spend that money on since I’m not working (i.e. mani’s, pedi’s, Fluffette’s 1^st Birthday and BoBo’s baby shower). 

A girl in my photography class last week told me about an awesome app and I wanted to share it with you.  It’s called ‘Motivated Moms’ and they have a free version.  It gives you a daily list of things to do around the house to make it more bearable.  For instance, today I cleaned out the fridge and washed the shelves, vacuumed around the fridge( didn’t know you were supposed to do that)  and mopped the kitchen.  I pretty much hate ALL of these things but it feels so good once it’s done (twss).  It also doesn’t hurt that it’s a great workout!  Go check out this awesome app….or don’t…whatever….I don’t care if your house is messy. 

Cooking:

As you know, I’ve decided to tackle my Skinny Eats board on Pinterest.  I am proud to say that I’ve deleted two recipes!  Mashed cauliflower and breakfast pizza

Last week, I decided to give Mashed Cauliflower a whirl.  It was fairly easy to make……not so easy to eat.  I plopped some on Mr. Fluff’s plate and handed it to him with no intention of telling him that it’s not potatoes.  He took a giant bite, looked at me and said “ummm…..what’s this white stuff”.  I said, “is it good?” (knowing the answer).  He more loudly said, “WHAT IS IT?!?!!?”.  I told him what it was….and that blob of “fauxtatoes” stayed on his plate.  Needless to say, if you’re looking for a healthy alternative for mashed potatoes, just eat asparagus.

“That’s not even remotely the same thing as mashed potatoes”

Egggggggggsactly my point!!  Neither is mashed cauliflower.  (insert dramatic gagging face here)

I also attempted to make this breakfast pizza…..twice.  After my first epic fail left me angry and needing to clean the egg off the bottom of my oven, I decided that I would NOT be defeated by a damn breakfast pizza.  I won’t bore you with all the details because…well…..it still makes me angry.  I will just say that the current score is Breakfast Pizza – 2, Fluffy – 0. 

I’ve pretty much been Betty Crocker (before she learned how to cook) the past week.  I made this Tastes Like Lasagna Soup and I was pleasantly surprised.  It was absolutely delicious and I will definitely be making this again.  I think most of the flavor comes from the sausage but if you aren’t a sausage lover (lesbian), then I think ground beef or turkey would work great too.  Seriously…..try it.  If I didn’t eff it up, neither will you! 

Control:

As you know from my post from earlier this week (post being called Fluff’s racy-ist post yet), I ate a lot of crappy food this weekend.  In addition to girls night eats, I had Cane’s fried chicken, Mexican food and Whataburger.  The old Fluffy would’ve continued on this path for at least a week then cried about her pants not fitting well anymore.  Well, I’d like to introduce you to the new “Ima get back on it ASAP” Fluffy….

I’m not saying that Sports Illustrated is going to call me soon to be on the cover of this year’s Swimsuit Edition.  I’m just sayin……”I’d hit that”.  There’s only a 20 pound difference in my body, but I will tell you that my mind is lighter than it’s ever been.  I’m pretty sure I just called myself an airhead…and sometimes I am.  What I’m trying to say is that I used to cheat then I would cheat more to make myself feel better….or worse….about the cheating I’d already done.  Then I would dwell on it for days and drive myself crazy.  Now, I eat the queso and then Monday begins and I’m back to watching what I eat and working out.  I am fully aware that my cheating is slowing down my weight loss since I’ve been at a plateau for about three weeks now, but I also know that when I try to give up all the bad-for-you food, I end up binging and gaining 45 pounds in one day. (slight exaggeration)

I’m soooo close to the 170s that I can taste it.  (mmmmm…tastes like chicken).  My goal is to break in to the 170s by February 1st.  If I can achieve that I will send you all a copy of 30 Day Shred I will give you all a virtual high five.  Fingers crossed!!

Confession:

I wish that I had something cool to confess like… I’m transgender or a stripper on the weekends or I like to eat a roll of toilet paper a day (I saw that on tv…wtf).  Unfortunately, my confession isn’t that cool. 

Here it goes…..I’m a smoker (deep breath…well…deep breath for, you know, a smoker).  I smoked prior to my pregnancy and thought it would be the hardest thing for me to give up when I got prego.  Luckily, it was actually pretty darn easy for me.  I mean…I took the occasional drag (like 4 or 5 in that 9 months).  Gasp….she took a drag while pregnant?!?!??!

I sure did…and Fluffette turned out JUST FINE…

Anyways, I didn’t plan on smoking after I had her, for obvious reasons but then breastfeeding happened and it rocked my world.  Everybody tells you that you’re a bad mother/person if you don’t breastfeed, but NOBODY tells you how effing hard and stressful it can be.  I didn’t produce enough milk and I considered cutting off my cracked and bleeding nip-oleans (I despise the word nipple) on several occasions.  Finally, Mr. Fluff begged me to go smoke a cigarette and take a break before I was featured on an episode of Snapped.  The rest is history.  I smoke every day, with my favorite smoke of the day being right after I workout. 

I’m assuming that several of you would like to lecture me right now on how awful it is to smoke, especially as a mother.   If you are able to say ‘true’ to all of the following statements, I will gladly listen to your lecture:

                                                                                                                                                               

1.        I have zero debt and have never managed my money poorly.

2.       I’ve never had even an ounce of alcohol and have definitely never made an arse of myself whilst drinking. 

3.       My spouse, children and I are all in top physical shape.  We never make poor food choices and we workout daily. 

4.       I have a perfect relationship with my significant other.  We always communicate effectively. 

I could go on and on, but I would guess that you answered ‘false’ to at least one, if not all, of those statements.  The point is we ALL have something about our lives that we’d like to change.  I’m just choosing to share this with you to hold myself accountable.  I’ve been focusing on eating right and working out and now I want to work on quitting smoking.   

By the way, if you were able to answer ‘true’ to all the above items, please send your lecture to:

Suckit@suckitagain.com.

That is all,

Fluffy in Frisco