This past weekend, The Fluff’s set out for Hutto, TX to help Hippy in Hutto work on Bobo’s nursery. (feeding a baby in a gas station is stupid fun)
If you’ve ever been to Hutto, it was most likely due to a wrong turn off the highway on your way to Austin, TX. I’d never heard of this small town until Hippy told me she was moving there. Hutto is home to the world famous (not really) Hutto Hippo’s. Did you know that Hutto is the only town in the world that has a Hippo as their mascot? This fact doesn’t shock me because,who the hell wants their school mascot to be an overweight mammal that resembles a pig and is cousins with a whale?!?!!? Hutto…that’s who! (how many times can I use the word ‘Hutto’ in a paragraph??)
Hippy and I did a lot of eating and a lot of shopping…..and then more eating. We also managed to get a lot done on Bobo’s nursery so now we just wait for that lil fella to get here. ***Hippy despises that I call her baby “Bobo”. Thus the basis of its appeal. Love ya Hippy!
While we slaved over shopping, eating and decorating, the boys went across the street to party like it’s twentythirteen at the neighbors garage bar. In their drunkenness, they called and asked us to come over for a minute…and bring Fluffette. Well, good thing because the dogs aren’t really capable of caring for her. *rolls eyes*
The reason they wanted us to come over? (I didn't get permission to share this video but
I'm Fluffy in mutha fuggin Frisco so I'll share what I want it's on YouTube so that's pretty damn public.)
We’re practically famous (even though you can't really see us...I'm in the green jacket and spandex. Shocker). HF
While in H-town, I heard the following:
1. You look fit.
2. You’re waist is tiny
3. Your legs are so small
4. You should write a book
Needless to say, I’ll be visiting MUCH more often. I mean…..who doesn't like to hear these types of compliments
even from people that were clearly drinking a lot.
Once we made it back home, I was feeling pretty good. Like 100% of the world, I enjoy hearing compliments. Even if it’s hard for me to accept them as truth, I still like hearing them. With my new found confidence, I decided it was time to hit the mall
and spend all of Mr. Fluff’s hard earned money.
With my fit body, small waist and legs and the first chapter of my book twirling in my head (chapter one: Go Fluff Yourself), I went to the Buckle.
When I walked in, a 12 year old worker (mild exaggeration) said, “Hi, what brings you in so early” *pops gum and talks like a valley girl. *
Um…it’s 2pm…I’ve been up for hours lady. I remembered that she was young and prolly went to a “real rager” last night and woke up moments before her 1pm shift.
“I’m just looking at jeans” She replies, “oh…did you just get your tax return”. Since I’m bat shyt crazy, I took that to mean that I look poor and can’t afford jeans. Then I remembered that she prolly just started her period last week and her mom buys her jeans.
I then proceeded to try on every.single.pair of jeans in the store. I did a crap ton of Denim dips to get most of them on…
A friend told me that the Buckle does alterations for free so that was exciting. However, they only alter the hem, not the waist. As I complained about my hips spreading across God’s green earth while carrying then later pushing out a toddler, the girl told me that she understood. You see, she’d managed to lose 30 pounds during her senior year of High School…three years ago. I judged her the second I saw her in her cute little booty shorts that I would only ever be able to wear as a bracelet. The truth is she had her own weight struggles. She understood. I then felt like an a-hole and congratulated her on her journey….and the fact that she was actually 21…not 12.
We then became BFF’s and she sat through every single attempt I had to fit in to these cute jeans. She complimented me and said I was “lucky to have a small waist”. I understand that she was trying to make a sale, but she definitely put forth the effort. As sweat beaded off my forehead, I felt defeated. I liked a couple pair of jeans, but they would both need to be altered in the waist...and both were expensive ($86 and $147) I still can’t rationalize paying that much for a pair of jeans so I will save that for when I lose 20 more pounds. Don’t worry; I ended up buying the cute coral shirt she brought me to make it worth her time.
The moral(s) of the story is this:
1. Hutto is a magical place filled with awesome people that will compliment the shyt outta you and;
2. You never know somebody else’s struggles. You will still judge them...it’s natural. Just understand that they may have gotten that cute little ass by working it off.