Wednesday, July 31, 2013

The F Word

I'm sure most of you thought this would be an entire post about "eff you see kay".  Well....get a hold of yourselves.  Who the hell writes an entire post about "fruck"?  Um....nobody.  You should really have higher standards for what you read.  SMH (mom, that means 'shaking my head')

Just kidding...I would totally write an entire post about that word....just not today.  Today, I'm talking about Failure and more specifically the fear of failure.  As I've said multiple times along this journey, I am truly awful at not finishing things I start.  Why?  Because I'm scared shytless of failing.  Like...more scared than Theresa Guidice that she'll spend the next 10 years in an orange jumper because orange and bronze don't look that good together.  (mom, Theresa is a character on Real Housewives of Atlanta)

A famous person once said,

"It is better to have not tried and not failed, than to try and realize you suck really bad"
                                                                                                                        -Fluffy Anonymous

This fear has been very present in the last 12 months while I struggled, succeeded, got knocked down and stood back up again. I struggle. I survive.  For me, weight loss is a complete and utter mind eff.  My inner demons are extremely strong when it comes to food.  I'm OBSESSED with it.  I don't like wasting it.  Throwing food in the trash full on gives me a case of the "twitchy neck".

This is my only issue.  I place way too much importance on my relationship with food.  I realize it and I will continue to work on it.  Girl Scout's honor.

I haven't shared any of my measurements or pictures of my not at all sexy body recently because...well....I suck.  That stops today.  (this is where Mr. Fluff would make some comment about how I 'stopped sucking a long time ago'.  Then he would laugh thinking he was finally funnier than me.  No such luck, Mr. Fluff....NO.SUCH.LUCK)

Thanks to Holly, I have like one bajillion new followers this week so you'll need to go check out Watch For Dropping Balls  to get a little bit of my backfat story.

We'll all wait.

Done? read slow.

Back?  Fy-nuh-leeeeeeeee.

Ok, time for measurements and pictures.   I didn't take my first set of measurements until September 5, 2012.  On the day Fluffette was born, May 29 2012, I weighed in at 236 pounds.

 September 2012
Weight: 208.2
Chest:  41
Arms:  14
Waist:   39.25
Thigh:  28.5
Calf:  17.75

July 31, 2013
Weight: 165.2
Chest:  35 inches
Arm: 11.5 inches
Waist:  31 inches
Thigh:  24.25 inches
Calf:  15.75 inches

No, those are not a second set of boobies.  That is my fat roll.  August 2012.  12 weeks post blown out vag.  

Squatting "Before"  September 2012

Pink Tank July 2013

Super proud of how my shoulders and back are coming along.  Still need a plastic surgeon to take care of that skin on my arms (for free)

Whoaaaaa......did you know that sometimes your thighs can have a gap in between them??!?!?!??!?  WHO KNEW!
Whenever my inner demons start to get the better of me, I like to compare my fat self to my less fat self.  I can definitely see progress and that's all I need to motivate me know....NOT FAIL.

Wherever you are in your weightloss quest, please take pictures of yourself.  They may make you projectile vomit all over yourself and your neighbor but someday, when you're feeling like a big pile of fat, sweaty whale blubber, you can look back at those pictures and feel proud.

I'm 15(ish) pounds away from my goal weight so it's time to rally, bytches.  I WILL DO THIS.


Speaking of other things that I hope I don't fail at.......

Dumpster Darlins is here Bytches!!!!  I'm beyond scared that I will be an absolute failure but I'm goin for it dammit!

I've started a Facebook page that will truly suck because I'm at like a 1st grade level in social media so bare with me.

A few things:
- all items posted on the page are available for sale OR rent.  If you have a wedding, photo shoot, baby shower or birthday party do we have the props for you!!  (insert flailing arm inflatable guy)
- My first show will be at The ORLY Market in Mckinney, TX on August 16th & 17th
- Exciting things are coming soon and will be available to ship all over the country! know....go like my page...or don't....I mean...I don't even really care...but seriously GO LIKE MY PAGE.

How can you say no to this face??

Just say no-yo to fro-yo

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  1. Congratulations on all of your success! You have come a really long way, and you can totally rally and finish strong. Way to go!

  2. I feel EXACTLY the same way with food!! I have no will power. I also have 15 lbs until my goal weight. I am taking it as it being the 1 st of August to get my ass in gear again!!

  3. Wow, you have made some awesome progress! Good luck with the last 15 pounds. I love the thigh gap picture, haha. I saw a pic of myself from a few years ago and I had thigh gap. That's my goal now. Not necessarily a poundage but a thigh gap goal

  4. You have really come far with this! I am terrible with food....if I think about it and don't have it, then I start to obsess until I finally just EAT IT. Nom. You're doing great!